IT WAS ALL A TERRIBLE MISTAKE

So, it turns out that when Lil'Kim told lies in front of a Grand Jury, it was all a bit of a mistake: she'd never do something like that. That would be wrong:

"This was a very serious situation," Lil' Kim testified. "I could not come into a grand jury and purposely tell false statements and lie."

Then it was suggested to her that she owed a million dollars in back taxes. But that was nothing to do with her - she leaves all that sort of stuff to her manager and accountant. Perhaps in the most jaw-dropping moment of her testimony on perjury charge, though, was the attempts to place the following three items on a level of equality:

The shooting by someone she claimed at the time not to know outside a New York Radio station

The day "Biggie was killed"

September 11th, 2001



Kim explains how she could take such an odd viewpoint: "I'm the type of person, I just shut down and move on. I don't live in the past."

Well, I suppose if you genuinely have no ability to remember things that have happened you could confuse a spot of petulant twats shooting each other in meaningless "turf wars" with a major terrorist incident that wiped out the lives of thousands of people. Maybe that could also explain why you forget to ask your manager if he sent off a cheque to the IRS, or if you knew the guy with the gun.

The case continues.

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