SURELY IT'S TOO SOON FOR A REMAKE OF SPICEWORLD?

Those Scientologists will try anything to get their graspy fingers round people's bank balances ("souls") - if the flattering psychometric-style test doesn't work, they'll send John Travolta in to offer you a "film role": either that, or Travolta really does believe that Girls Aloud would make good film stars, which strike us as even less plausible than L Ron's religiousbabble itself.

music movies john travolta girls aloud scientology