WHAT DOES HALF A MILLION BUY YOU THESE DAYS?

We're a little surprised that anyone who has half a million to spare would use it to buy a private dance ("gig") from Dannii Minogue. Apparently, she's not in a position to turn it down ("thinking about accepting the offer"). The sweet irony, of course, is that the half a million quid is on offer from an Arab prince (is she sure, come to think of it, that it's not that hack from the News of the World again?) - and we know how Dannii panics when surrounded by signs and so on in Arabic... oh, hang on, she doesn't mind places in Australia having signage in the language spoken by the people who live there, she was only saying, wasn't she?

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