THE PAST CATCHES UP: Jackson trial update

The lawyer who worked with both the paid-off and the un-piad off accusers of Michael Jackson, Larry Feldman, has been giving evidence in the Jackson legal trial which is carrying on despite being eclipsed by 24/7 Old Dying Man Dying, Not Yet Dead coverage on the news channels.

Feldman declined to reveal how big the pay-off to Jordan was, saying merely the matter was "resolved in his favour", and also suggested that the Arvizo family hadn't been thinking of bringing a civil suit against Jackson at all.

Earlier, investigator Jeff Klapackis rejected claims that sending in 60 people to search Neverland was overdoing it; he pointed out that it's a big place and they only had a day to search it. Clearly, if you didn't have loads of people there there'd have been no time left over for a go on Jacko's big dipper. Klapackis admitted that there had been no traces of Gavin Arvizo's DNA found on Jackson's bedding - which means either Jackson has been unfairly accused, or he's a child molester who at least changes his sheets from time to time.

The defense have called for a mistrial for about the sixty-ninth time; this time they're suggesting that prosecution witnesses are discussing the case outside the courtroom. Perhaps, but some of the defense witnesses are doing monologues about the case on network telly.

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