Friday, April 22, 2005

THEY'LL VOTE. BUT PERHAPS THEY SHOULDN'T. Electo-pop

The NME isn't likely to run a politician front page this election, but it has carried out an interesting survey for the current issue, which discovers that 73% of NME readers intend to vote on May 5th. A further 6% are expected to turn up at their village hall on May 6th looking a little confused. (This compares with the turnout amongst the NME's target demographic last time round when only 39% actually could get their pretty firm buttocks down to cast a vote.)

If nobody other than NME readers turn up on Thursday week, Charles Kennedy can look forward to being Prime Minister - apparently, 37% of NME readers would be voting Liberal Democrat. Oddly, there's still 17% support for the Tories, too. The sound you can hear is Steven Wells, who has killed himself purely so that he can allow his body to spin in its grave.

Perhaps the real death of the radical image of the NME reader, though, is assured by their decision that, allowed to pick any rock star they liked to run the country, they'd have Chris Martin selecting a cabinet faster than you can think of.

Good god, then even the subjects of George W Bush would take the piss out of us.


3 comments:

mitya said...

don't be so sure, simon. don't be so sure.

Paul said...

I don't know how the poll was done, but, really, isn't the news that out of the people who could be bothered to fill in an NME poll 27% can't be bothered to vote?

Also, "pretty firm buttocks"? is the "firm & pretty" or "quite firm but not as firm a they could be"?

simon h b said...

If my experience of standing around polling stations during the 2001 is typical, then "quite firm"; although quite what another four years of turkey twizzlers and playstations will have done to the standards of arse amongst the older teens of this country, I shudder to think.

On the 27% not voting front, it is possible that they're actively abstaining rather than taking the time to signal their intention not to take the time to vote... "withdrawal in disgust os not apathy, she said"

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