GOD, SHE MUST HAVE BEEN MORE PISSED THAN IT SEEMS

Victoria Beckham has a cunning plan to seize her place at the top of the pop tree:

Victoria Beckham is going back to her one true love - singing. But after getting burnt in the past, she's releasing her next track under another name. She told my mole, "I've recorded a number of tracks and I'm proud of them. This way, though, we can land a genuine hit and then, when it IS a hit, I'll reveal my true identity." Look out for one, called Dreaming Over You, on the dance floor soon...

There's only two flaws with VB's plan here. The first is that the reason why her records have been flopping is that they've been so shit, even with the support of her brand, they've left people cold. Removing your name is only going to make it worse.

More important, it's probably best not to tell everyone the name of the record that you're going to be releasing secretly before you release it, Victoria.

music victoria beckham