I'D BUY A MAGAZINE AND FIND AN OLD SOCK IF I WERE YOU

We're certain that this use of "for months" is euphemism for "ever" or, at least, "in years" or "since people noticed what a self-obsessed mirror-whore he was", but Jay Kay is begging to have sex because he hasn't had sex "for months". He's calling on single women to help end this drought, although from where we're sitting, it looks like there are sympathy shags there just isn't enough sympathy in the world to create.

In other "must we really imagine Jay Kay having sex?" news, Kay has a shoe fetish:

"I've got a total shoe fetish. I adore a good pair of shoes. Girls have to keep them on with me.

"Doesn't matter what colour they are, just keep them on! If somebody in the band spots a beautiful girl in sexy boots, they have to yell 'Booooots'."

Hard to believe he doesn't get a sniff of any action, isn't it? We're sure that anyone who does get taken back to the Jamiroquai love pad doesn't mind leaving their shoes on, though. Or, indeed, their pants and coat. In fact, y'know, we'll just wait outside for the taxi to come, so we don't miss him, right Did we give you our number? No... oh, don't worry, we'll ring you...

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