WESTLIFE LOSE BATTLE OF WITS WITH A FAG PACKET

Westlife have been told they cannot register their name as a trademark because Imperial Tobacco's West brand is too similar. The European court of First Instance agreed with the tobacco company that "the average German consumer" would find it hard not to get confused by the Irish boyband and a packet of fags. Westlife are to be allowed to carry on using the name, but cannot claim it as exclusive.

For those of you having trouble telling the difference: West come in packets of 20 and prolonged use can cause lung cancer; Westlife come in a bunch of four and even low-level exposure can lead to total cancer of the soul.

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