WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO SOMETHING I DID TWENTY YEARS AGO?

Oh, Bob, you're such a big tease. Despite dismissing talk of Live8 as "kite-flying", he's been setting it up all along. Who could have guessed? Indeed, just a couple of days after Geldof was denying there were any plans afoot, they're getting ready to announce names.

The reworking of Live Aid is timed to coincide with the G8 conference in the UK, and has two aims. The first is to ensure that everyone remembers that Bob Geldof has done more for the fockin' poor than Bono ever has, and the second is to keep the maximum number of young people harmlessly in London watching McFly and Coldplay instead of going to Scotland to protest against the summit.

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