MONKEY MAGIC

He's dressed like he went on a shopping spree with Jimmy Saville, he dances like he's waiting for a hip operation, and he couldn't carry a tune if it came pre-packed in a holdall, so what is it about watching Ian Brown run through the Stone Roses back catalogue that makes it so compelling? And no, it's just not because all the while he's doing Stone Roses stuff he's not working his way through his own back catalogue.

Oh. Spoke too soon.

Meanwhile, over on BBC TWO, Basement Jaxx are... how can we put this gently? Demonstrating why they were third choice for the headline slot.

It's been a bit of a quiet Glastonbury this year - when people are suggesting that a dull band doing a pop cover might be the key moment, it's a clear sign that nobody's bothered to try very hard. 2004 had some moments burned into the retinas - Alison Goldfrapp's tail, for example - but there's not really been much to do that in 2005. Apart from the natural elements, of course. The image of 2005 will be that bloke swimming to get his car keys back.

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