Wednesday, June 01, 2005

SWEET DUMB BEN RESURFACES

Ben Adams, who used to be in A1 until the band got lost trying to find their mittens in a cul-de-sac has resurfaced; he still has the face of an angel and the mind of someone who needs instructions on a post-it note before they can use a bedside lamp. Drowned in Sound bought a copy of Boyz with him in it, from where they found this:

"I think you've got to try everything once," said Mr Ben. "I was in this strip bar (in Thailand) and all these naked girls were massaging my hands, and I just thought, 'Oh well, I'll try it once', and went with this other girl. It didn't really do a huge amount for me. It's always like, if you can sleep with people without having to pay them, then why fucking bother!"

We love the way Ben had apparently just wandered into a sex bar, and was already having nude women squeezing his hands before he suddenly thought "I know, I'll try paying for sex tonight...", and the way he thinks having sex with a prostitute counts as a single, discrete experience, like sky-diving or going to Paris. Unless he means "having sex with a woman" was the thing he was going to try just that once. Or maybe even "having sex". We also love the way he rejects using prostitutes not on any moral grounds, but because it's an economic absurdity to pay for something you could have for free - we bet he's one of those people who complains when their mates buy bottled water: "47p? You can have as much water from the tap as you like for nothing, you know..."

Nature's cruel irony is that it gave Ben the cash to be able to afford to fritter it away on hookers at the same time as it provided him with the physical and celebrity pulling power to ensure he didn't have to pay; and now all three are fading away at the same time.

And, look, we made it through with making a single reference to Bangkok Ladyboys. Apparently, it's very hard to tell the difference, you know...


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