TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS

In the end, there are some forces which cannot be beaten: gravity, when you accidently sweep your aunt's favourite pot dog from a shelf; time, when you're desperate to leave the room before she finds out; and the massive centrifugal force which has been pulling Destiny's Child apart. That force, known to scientists as the Beyonce Ego (BE), has finally got so strong as to outweigh the counterbalancing force, LMC (or Lucrative McDonalds Contract) and so, Destiny's Child will cease to exist even in its current Beyonce and skeleton staff format at the end of the current tour, says a statement:

"We have been working together as Destiny's Child since we were 9, and touring together since we were 14.

"After a lot of discussion and some deep soul searching, we realised that our current tour has given us the opportunity to leave Destiny's Child on a high note, united in our friendship and filled with an overwhelming gratitude for our music, our fans, and each other. After all these wonderful years working together, we realized that now is the time to pursue our personal goals and solo efforts in earnest. ... No matter what happens, we will always love each other as friends and sisters and will always support each other as artists.

"We want to thank all of our fans for their incredible love and support and hope to see you all again as we continue fulfilling our destinies."

We're not sure about the "we've been together since we were nine" - as on that basis, Michelle must now be 14, what with her only joining in 2000. We're sure Kelly and especially Michelle will be delighted at having decided its time to pursue their personal goals, which in the very near future will include challenges like ensuring the pile of coins for the electricity meter is large enough to make it through to the end of the month and trying to get the landlord to come round and clean the stain on the carpet where it looks like the previous tennant had some kind of haemmorage.

Kelly was last seen desperately trying to find that edition of Us where they had an article about the TLC search for a replacement for Lefteye.

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