LIVE 8: HALF PAST TWO

Clearly, every fucker's going to try and emulate Bono's 1985 trick of sticking a bit of a different song into their performance - Bono whacked in some Unchained Melody. Chris Martin, meanwhile, poked Rocking All Over The World into In My Place, before going into some sort of seizure at the end.

Gwyneth has given Apple some ear protection, which was very, very visible. So, both sensible and making sure everyone could see she was being sensible.

Richard Ashcroft's just been brought on - the audience forgot they were supposed to act surprised - and he sounds terrible. It's kind of like when Alan Partridge brings on Cheeky Monkey; it's nice that he kept the promise he made to the bloke whose work he enjoyed before he was famous, but it would have been better for everyone involved if he'd quietly forgotten it.

Ah! "I'm a billion different people from one day to the next" - do you see what they did there?

Meanwhile, we've been trying to see if AOL is having any problems streaming the gig, and all we can get is the page with any empty space above the dire warning:

This concert is a live webcast. Some content during this event may not be appropriate for all audiences. AOL does not edit content so viewer discretion is advised.

What AOL does let us know is that Katherine Jenkins is currently on stage in Berlin.

Richard Ashcroft has, swiftly, knocked Bono off the "cheapest, nastiest sunglasses" podium for the day, at least. Chris has just described Live 8 as "the greatest thing organised in the history of the world", which it's perhaps a little too early to write off as hyperbole.

And, for those of you who keep a record: he's drawn massive equals signs on the back of his hands.

music live 8 live8 coldplay richard ashcroft