LIVE 8: TEN PAST NINE

Just when ITV had abandoned all hope of getting any audience at all this evening, on come Velvet Revolver. Who thought it would be a good idea to let them on the bill at all, much less during the evening, when they'd had a chance to enjoy some of the chilled drinks available backstage? They've never been anything more than the brainwrong of a bunch of over-promoted rock grunts, a vanity unit of dubious beauty, but tonight's performance took their rather low benchmark and didn't even set out to try and grab up towards that.

"You can come out now, they've gone" said Ross as they returned us to the safety of the presentation pod, where Paul McCartney was recalling his meeting with Vladimir Putin: "he seems a nice man... then someone reminded me he was the head of the KGB."

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