LOOSELY MODELED, WE HEAR, ON KAMP KRUSTY

Are you parents of an American child? Have you left it way too late to book a summer camp for them and are looking at the frightening prospect of having to entertain them yourself all summer? Good news! Usher's summer camp still has vacancies and is accepting sign-ups from young people. (No, no, you're thinking of R Kelly there, aren't you?)

Apparently, it's aimed at "minority youth", a meaningless circomlocution, and it's going to "honour their specialities." Whatever form they might take. Usher turned up on the first day:

"This is truly about learning the business side," Usher said Monday. "You're not going to learn it all overnight, but maybe, just maybe, you'll learn enough to change your life."

In other words, they didn't have enough to get proper coaches in, but could pay for loads and loads of lawyers and accountants.

Usher also asked the kids and counselors to treat him like a family member.

He didn't say which one - we bet the kids are hoping he means "slightly older brother", but we think he's got something more in mind along the lines of "your mother's uncle's wife's third cousin, who you don't know well and certainly wouldn't think of touching..."

The camp is called - honestly - Camp New Look. And we're sure all the kids from the hood can't wait to get back to show off their camp new look to all their friends...

music camp usher