SURELY WHEN THEY SAY 'WRITE' THEY MEAN 'TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF AND POSE FOR' A BOOK?

They keep telling us that publishing is in dire straits, and yet apparently someone is prepared to cough up half a million for a book by Jennifer Ellison. Now, obviously, the talk of a half a million deal is rubbish, but even so - why would anyone want a book about her life? Ellison is certain it's a great idea:

"I may be young, but I think I have lived many lives," Ellison told the Daily Star.

Hmm... a part in a soap opera after everyone had stopped watching it; a singing career that stiffed after just one single; a role in a film which was so small she was upstaged by the 'turn off your mobile' advert... perhaps we could suggest 'Bouncing Back' as a title? And a free torch for every purchaser?

On the other hand, maybe she's going to spill all about her boyfriends' connections with legitimate businessmen. Although we suspect the editing of such a tome might prove painful...

music jennifer ellison