COO, WE BET HE'S SCARED

The only thing more frightening than Jay Kay issuing threats is... sorry, did we say "frightening?", as we meant ridiculous. Jay Kay, who got punched on his stupid nose last year has suddenly started fuming about how he could have had him:

"I'd still like to get hold of the geezer and give him a good duffing up. If I find him - and I will one day - he can be sure I'll give him a good stuffing."

"A good duffing up?" Presumably Kay will be hoping that Venebales and Boddington keep a check on the door to make sure Old Wilkie's not doing the rounds while he adminsters this thrashing. Kay doesn't quite explain why, when he got pulped last time, he thinks things will be different if he ever meets this bloke again, but he does seem to be suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress: nobody in their right mind would trot out something like this:

"Was it upsetting? Not really. There's an element of it that rounded off my notoriety quite nicely."

On the other hand, maybe Kay has realised he's a notorious prat and being punched on the nose really does round off the image as a fool despised by virtually everyone he meets.

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