COOGAN: NA-AAAH

Steve Coogan isn't going to be the father of drug-addled Courtney Love's baby, apparently. Or so says his spokesperson, who claims it's "ridiculous". It's not clear if the spokesperson is dismissing the whole thing as ridiculous - we found the claims of Steve's Studliness to be a little stretching of the credibility-skin ourselves - or if it's just the pregnancy.

Meanwhile, Coogan's family aren't entirely thrilled at the prospect of what this will mean for future gatherings at weddings and Christmas, having Love crashing about, knocking over tables and offering to fight the vicar. It has had the happy side-effect of leading to The Mock Turtles getting their first mention in the papers since their Vodaphone-sponsored Indian summer:

His brother Martin, lead singer with 90s band The Mock Turtles, said: "I had no idea." His parents Anthony and Kathleen, both lay preachers, are understood to be deeply concerned.

One source claimed: "They are a very religious family and are horrified Courtney Love is expecting their grandchild.

"Courtney and Steve hadn't been seeing each other very long at all and she has a terrible reputation.

"Let's face it, she's hardly daughter-in-law material, is she?"

To be fair, Steve isn't exactly pushing an unblemished record as far as being a fine catch himself, is he?

music courtney love steve coogan