MAKING CASH OUT OF A CRISIS

It's always been tricky for Pete Doherty - when he needed some ready cash for his own purposes, he's always been able to scare up a few quid from the tabloids. However, even in his state, he's started to notice that the coverage that's generated isn't entirely positive, and may even be harming his ability to raise cash for his own purposes on later occasions. The solution? He's now chronicling his own decline and taking the cash for himself through a pay-per-view website where you can watch him going about his daily doings. In effect, you can now directly pay Pete to be a mildly diverting fuck-up without the need to go through the middlemen. It's uses of the internet like this that makes Tim Berners-Lee weep blood-flavoured happy tears whenever anyone sees through his disguise and works out who he is.

Not to be confused, of course, with The Junkies, which was an actually amusing web-based thing.

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