TORY DEFEAT DOWN TO KYLIE MINOGUE

You've got to love the Tories - casting round for a reason for their inability to attract support at the last election, they don't decide it might have been the nasty, racist overtones of their early campaign, or the decision to put Michael Howard at the front of their party. Oh, no. It can't be anything as simple as their party being difficult to warm to, so they have to seek other reasons. In South Dorest, for example, they've decided the 4% drop in the Tory share for candidate Ed Matts is down to their deputy constituency chair going to see Kylie Minogue's gig four days before polling day. Daniel Smy has now been forced to resign.

Thank god it wasn't a Dannii Minogue gig - the party would probably have lost their deposit.

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