WHAT A SHOWER

So, you're pregnant, you fancy throwing an intimate baby shower for just you and your closest friends - naturally, you call in a party planner to do all the arrangements for you. So it was that Britney Spears came to be having an "African themed shower" - yes, all grasshuts and barefoot shuffling, with all the sensitivity and world vision you'd expect from a member of the actual royal family. Because they don't have shoes or bricks in Africa, you know.

The centrepiece was, apparently a cake in the shape of a Moroccan pot with a baby peeking out.

So... a heavily pregnant woman is chopping up a jam and cream filled effigy of a hiding child? Even if you don't believe in karma, there's something slightly disturbing about that, isn't there?

Britney got lots of gifts:

Presents included a white wrought-iron bassinet from her mum, Lynne, a car seat, a stroller, an infant bathtub and lots of stuffed animals.

Which is great, because when you're a young couple with only a couple of platinum selling albums behind you, that first kid can really put a strain on the family budget. Especially when you're shelling out thousands and thousands of dollars to sign your kid up to some sort of cult. It's great family and friends are able to help out.

“Everyone really outdid themselves,” the singer told People magazine. “Even the packaging on some of the gifts was heartfelt."

The packaging? Blimey, that's a hell of an instore giftwrap service - "would you like that wrapped, madam? And would you like that to be heartfelt or not?"

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