FANCY THAT - KATE MOSS IS IN THE PAPERS

It would be wrong to jump to any sort of conclusion about the stories in today's Daily Mirror - just because they're sourced to a "former model" doesn't mean that the person who's been making a few bob off the blabbing is a bitter, shrivelled old failure; the word "former" might not have a hidden "jealous" attached to it, you know. Anyway, her testimony allows the Mirror to return to the Kate-drug-poker table. The Mirror opened with coke, The Sun saw the coke, and raised crack. And now The Mirror sees the crack, and raises:

She snorted line after line of cocaine and ketamine - known as Special K in drugs circles - after a night out at a London club.

So, what does the former model have to say?

"We were at a party at a lovely flat by the Thames. Kate used a credit card to cut up the powder then hoovered hers up first. She was quite greedy. She was like a machine.

"Then she wiped her nose and started jumping around the room like a mad woman. She was going on about Special K, saying how great it was."

How awful that Kate should feel the need to do this in a lovely flat, eh? There's a time and a place for horse tranquillisers.

Elsewhere in the Mirror, Bill Borrows suggests that - while Kate Moss should be given some sort of benefit of the doubt - Pete Doherty should be shot. Well, they shoot up horse tranquilisers, don't they?

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