GOOD NEWS FOR CULTS LOOKING TO BALANCE THE BOOKS

There's a limit to the length of time you expect a bunch of poorly written kids books bearing the name of your prime convert to keep bringing the money in, so if you're a cult with a waning star at the heart of your marketing campaign, you need to think beyond the obvious.

Like this: Kabbalah's Madonna is set to turn her dreary moral books into a kid's clothing range. It remains to be seen how the books - which draw heavily on the Kabbalah Centre's reworking of Kabbalah although not, sadly, on any noticeable flair for writing children's books - will be converted into kid's clothes, but if other Kabbalah marketing schemes are anything to go by, they'll start with a price tag and just attach some stuff to it.

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