THE BASTARD SON OF DEAN FRIEDMAN

We always had a soft spot for Lucky Stars by Dean Friedman ("I may not be all that bright/ but I know how to hold you tight"), and we've warmed even more as his 25th anniversary tour has blown up in a drugs shocker, sending the Milton Keynes Citizen rushing for the dope puns:

Potty pop performer Dean Friedman has ditched plans to give away cannabis seeds to his fans at The Stables after facing a joint ban by the venue and local police.

Joint ban! Potty! Oh, my aching sides.

Dean - or "self-confessed pot smoker Friedman", as the paper would have it - seems to be quite enjoying this sudden and expected change of image:

"I have been mistakenly perceived as 'Mr Middle of the Road' for quite a while."
"Now I feel I will finally be acknowledged as the shiftless, irresponsible, pot-smoking, sex-crazed, Commie-radical lunatic I actually am," he said.

The Police, of course, don't actually have any legal grounds to stop people from handing out cannabis seeds - in our splendidly well-constructed legal system, it's perfectly ok to buy and sell the seeds, so long as you don't cultivate them. So they have to fall back on the old cliche:

Milton Keynes Police said, "It is illegal to cultivate cannabis. This sort of thing sends out the wrong message. We would urge people to stay away from drugs,' said a spokesman.

Ah, yes... if a grey-haired old singer gives some of his fans some cannabis seeds, as soon as word gets round, Milton Keynes will have to cope with kate Moss hanging round the bus station trying to score.

music dean friedman cannabis