BONO NOW CLAIMS POWER OF LIFE, DEATH

Having grown tired of merely feeding the starving, Bono now seems to think that he's got the power to save lives. Speaking from his Boncave, and without removing the sunglasses he used to disguise his true identity, Bonoman cursed that he was too late to save Michael Hutchence:

"I felt I had let Michael down because I was lost in my own busy-ness and hadn't called as much as I would have liked. I just wished I'd been around a bit more. He would confide in me and I in him. We were really good friends."

Of course, this does actually throw up an interesting new possibility to explain Hutchence's death - maybe he wasn't just trying to get a stiffy; it's not unlikely that having Bono confide in him was enough to grind anyone down and he just chose a simple way to avoid the "Hi? Mike... Bono here, I need to decide what sunglasses to wear to meet the President of somesuch" calls.

Tomorrow, Bonoman will retreat to his fortress of solitude to ask why he didn't do more to stop the tsunami: "if only I'd not been wrapped up choosing sunglasses, I could have spun the world backwards or something..."

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