CAN'T WE JUST PUT THEM ALL ON AN ISLAND?

Like watching those fights which Channel Five dredge up from CCTV footage where you don't care who wins, just so long as they all lose, apparently the "feud" between Simon Cowell and SharAnne Robinsonsbourne has now expanded to include Kelly. Apparently it all kicked off at the National TV Awards yesterday, where Sharon received a prize for turning up, and the 3AM girls cared:

We hear he told Kelly that if Sharon won the award for Most Popular Expert at the National TV Awards, he'd "be disgusted".

A 3am mole tells us: "After Sharon won, Kelly told her what Simon had said and she joked that she'd bring the award to the X Factor studios."

Earlier, Simon had said to Kelly: "What's wrong with you, you're speaking sense for once?" To which Kelly retorted: "Yeah, you thought I had Tourette's, didn't you?" Very grown up, guys.

Hang about... "Most popular expert"? What is Sharon Osbourne an expert on all of a sudden? Has she started a show where she reveals the secret to turning an unlikeable character into a repeatedly-booked celebrity?

music sharon osbourne simon cowell kelly osbourne