EVERYTHING'S SIMPLY TERRIBLE

I'm going to hell. You're going to hell. We're all going to hell. That's the surprising conclusion of Madonna, who has decided that - yes - we're all evil, and are all going to go to hell. Apparently, Madonna believes the world is The Beast and “are going to go to hell if they don’t turn from wicked behaviour”.

It's not clear if Madonna views Hell as an actual place, or a metaphor, or merely a backstage area where one has to share toilets with members of the Sugababes and Robbie Williams, but it's where we're all headed:

“The material world . . . the physical world. The world of illusion, that we think is real. We live for it, we’re enslaved by it. It will ultimately be our undoing.”

Now, everybody is free to change their opinions over the course of their life - especially if they discover a way to sell string for a tenner a throw - so you can't hold the fact that Madonna is attacking the very Material World she sang so delightfully about back when she wasn't funding a cult. What is curious, though, is that Madonna is telling us we're going to go to hell because we're enslaved by this materialistic world while simultaneously pocketing large cheques from a mobile phone company.

Perhaps if Madonna really wants to free us from this hell, she should take the first step by withdrawing all her singles which promote wickedness from sale straight away. If she's so desperate to save us all, shouldn't she start with leading with example - she can save us from temptation, and at the same time save herself from the daily horror of banking cash from hymns to the materialism and wickedness she so despises.

music kabbalah madonna