THE ONLY CHARTS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO ATTACH A PIPE TO YOUR EXHAUST

The ever-reliable Mr Red Penguin has got details of the top 100 singles of the year. This is the top ten:

1 Tony Christie Feat. Peter Kay - (Is This The Way To) Amirillo 1,090,500
2 Crazy Frog - Axel F 523,100
3 James Blunt - You're Beautiful 436,000
4 McFly - All About You / You've Got A Friend 333,300
5 Akon - Lonely 331,400
6 2Pac ft. Elton John - Ghetto Gospel 268,300
7 Pussycat Dolls Ft Busta Rhymes - Don't Cha 265,500
8 Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. 245,400
9 Daniel Powter - Bad Day 226,200
10 Will Smith - Switch 193,400

There's something almost breathtaking about the sudden drop in sales between number one and two; and the drop between one and ten. Indeed, only thirty-one singles have managed to do more 100,000 sales so far this year, and only about three that are any good.

Likewise, the presence of Franz Ferdinand in at number one with their album disguises what otherwise might be the most crushing top ten albums of all time:

1 FRANZ FERDINAND, YOU COULD HAVE IT SO MUCH BETTER
2 KATIE MELUA, PIECE BY PIECE
3 JAMES BLUNT, BACK TO BEDLAM
4 DAVID GRAY, LIFE IN SLOW MOTION
5 KT TUNSTALL, EYE TO THE TELESCOPE
6 KELLY CLARKSON, BREAKAWAY
7 BARBRA STREISAND, GUILTY TOO
8 KANYE WEST, LATE REGISTRATION
9 PAUL ANKA, ROCK SWINGS
10 JAMIE CULLUM, CATCHING TALES

With the possible exception of the Kanye West album, the whole run of albums from number 2 downwards are just... well, there isn't actually a word for them, as they're so bland it's physically impossible to attach any sort of adjective to them at all.

music charts