SIMPER!

It must be a curious job, writing for Hello magazine. For example, a photo like this comes across your desk:



... and while the obvious reaction would be to screech "What the hell is it with him? All that blubbering about how Martin Bashir made him look like a nutter, and yet he comes to London and continues to parade his kids about decorated as if they were furniture - what is it, an antimaccasar?"

But, no, the consumate professionals at Hello behave as if it's the most natural thing:

Accompanying the performer were his three children, Prince Michael Jr, eight, Prince Michael II, four, who is nicknamed "Blanket", and daughter Paris Katherine. Seven-year-old Katherine, her head and face covered by a green scarf, walked hand-in-hand with her father as they toured the venue.

Because we all make our kids wear drapes, don't we?

Hello does get one sly dig in, though:

The 47-year-old, who was escorted through the throng of well-wishers by a group of burly security guards, was looking sharp in a black suit and dark glasses. And he seemed to have taken a leaf out of British interior designer Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen's book, as he completed the look with an oversize-cuffed shirt and matching tie.

Taking style pointers for Laurence L-B? That's gotta hurt...

music michael jackson laurence llewellyn-bowen london