WORDS WHICH MAY RETURN TO HAUNT AND SPOOK

The admirable young Arctic Monkeys - you may have read about them in the broadsheet press, using the internets to create a "fanbase" - have made an astonishing pledge: they'll knock it on the head if they show any signs of mutating into Ricky Wilson. (They don't say if they mean any era Wilson, or just the current 'I Was George Best's Stunt Double' version version):

“Most bands these days probably just write lyrics because they sound good without thinking.”

“But I don’t want to be a band like Kaiser Chiefs. I think if we’re next year’s Kaiser Chiefs we’ll quit.”

Of course, what's probably especially galling for Wilson is that he'd probably have given his last kidney to get a number one, while the Monkeys have done it with little more than a Hotmail account and a trendspotting featurette on Mark Lawson's Front Row.

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