OZZY'S WORLD FALLS IN

Forever seeming the gloomy side of life, Ozzy Osbourne is betting that with his luck, he'll get bird flu:

The singer says he will probably be the first person in the UK to catch the disease because he is so unlucky. Speaking on BBC Radio 2 he said: "I don't smoke, drink or take drugs anymore. "But knowing my luck, a bird will crap on me and I'll get bird flu on the way home."

But Ozzy... you've done enough drugs to take down a parade of Russian Cossacks, and drunk yourself so far past oblivion you only lived because they wouldn't take you on the ferry across the River Styx in your condition; you had a quadbike accident that would have killed most people but walked away; and you have sex with Sharon Osbourne without being eaten after - you're not unlucky, you silly old sod; you're bloody charmed is what you are.

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