WE CAME THAT CLOSE, EH?

We've pretty much ignored the supposed quitting of Louis Walsh from the X-Factor last week, for exactly the same reason that we didn't do anything here about Liz being dumped by Kirk in Corrie: pre-scripted events in soap operas don't really fall within our remit. Having said that, we can't let Walsh's whining go ignored completely: he reckons Sharon Osbourne could have killed him when she poured water over him at judging:

"When the water hit my monitor, it started fizzing and then went out.

"Goodness only knows what could have happened if my hand was on it.

"She could have electrocuted me, there's so much electrical equipment around the judge's desk."

Louis, either go to the police and report it as an assault, or just shut the bugger up. To be honest, if we had to spend an hour a week sat next to Sharon Osbourne we'd welcome the chance to have a quick shower. What's interesting is that the X-Factor has finally become what the series of programmes since Pop Idol has always been in danger of turning into - some old people bickering like Stalter and Waldorf while the acts do little more than give the "stars" a chance to regroup. Even the best attempts of the tabloids to get some sort of interest in the singers has failed, and they've been reduced to getting the dumped ones to whine about the judges. Really, if they want a chance of a Christmas Number One, they should forget getting the winners to do something, and just have Simon, Sharon and Louis trot through Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better.

music x factor sharon osbourne louis walsh simon cowell