MARK, SWEETNESS, WE CALL THAT "BISEXUALITY"

You'll be familiar with the phrase "confused about his sexuality" - normally this is what happens when someone feels unable to acknowledge his or her orientation and tries to act on a different one. But since members of Westlife have difficulty processing stuff, when we say Mark Feehily is confused about his sexuality, it's in the same way he and his band mates are confused by those red and green lights when you cross the road, or flasks, or why wasps live in litter bins:

The star says he still fancies women but can't be bothered to act on his urges for females any more.

That's not gay - that just makes you too lazy to be bisexual.

Mark, who has a boyfriend, revealed: "I have dated girls in the past and enjoyed it. I fancied girls - I still fancy girls.

"I really fancy Angelina Jolie but I just don't want to do anything about it any more".

Sometimes, Mark, our cat is bored by the Whiskas cat meat - it doesn't mean he's gone vegetarian.

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