Saturday, December 10, 2005


It appears we're not burning through the precious resources of the planet quickly enough to keep some people happy, so Tesco has decided to help out by introducing sandwich boxes which play tunes when you open them. That's disposable sandwich boxes:

Tesco Spokesman Jonathan Church said the potential of the melodic munch was enormous.

"It's designed to provide busy office workers with relaxing music to make eating lunch at their desks more enjoyable than ever before," he said, adding that the concept could be easily adapted for Easter, Valentine's Day or Mother's Day.

While it's not certain how your true love would react to being given a tuneful tuna lunch on February 14, Church said the idea could also be used in conjunction with record companies to launch songs by new artists clamoring for the kudos.

Clearly, Church is slightly deluded, as anyone who thinks that having a weezy rasping tune spat at you might, in some way, make the idea of having to work through your lunch not just enjoyable but more enjoyable is suffering from some serious misunderstanding of the idea of work-life balance. But it's the sort of crazy idea that a record label might respond to - they're run by people who can never see a rotten idea without thinking "hey, that sounds like a good idea" and so it might be that before too long, when you open your sandwiches, you get a whiff not just of crab paste and gorgonzola, but also Robbie Williams. That would go together just perfectly.


karl said...

You know, when the ants,or whoever takes over as the dominant life form on the planet come to write 'The Decline And Fall Of Homo Sapiens', this is probably going to be widely regarded as the point beyond which we became irredeemable.
Microelectronics allowed man to render a moderately amusing greetings card irritating beyond measure, but it took several years for this technology to be tranferred to the field of pre-packaged food. This great leap was achieved in the early 21st century by a fucking idiot. It was a matter of months before mankind finally fell, and most of the human population of the world were being kept as pets by well-heeled earthworms."
Seriously: can you think of anybody outside of marketing people and those who fashion models out of their own faeces who thinks this is a good idea? There's more on the story on The Register, if anybody has the stomach to read futher...

cheesemeister said...

I won't be impressed until they invent a SANDWICH that can play you a song while you eat it!

simon h b said...

The bit that really depresses the most is that somebody sees that people eat lunch, alone, working, at their desk, and thinks the solution is that they need to have some shit music instead of, you know, a proper lunch looking at the sky and trees.

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