3AM INFERNAL

If you had three people sharing your byline, you could turn out well-considered pay-off lines like these, from today's 3AM column in the Mirror:

Ooh, you little Rascal.
Hmm, not so rock 'n' roll after all, are you Rick?
Let's hope they're not sharing a dressing room.
Time to give those stylists a raise, girl.
Fortunately they all behaved impeccably, so there was no dressing down from their dads afterwards.
And so can her little sister, soccer star Wayne Rooney's fiancee.

And, while we're looking at the 3AM girls, in a piece "Peaches Geldof wears a dress" or something, they trill:

But 16-year-old Peaches Geldof is not exactly short of self-confidence - after all, she supposedly pinched Pete Doherty's bum just before his shambolic Live 8 appearance.

Erm... only if believed Pete Doherty's claim when he was trying to explain away his shit performance. And, erm, only if you then disbelieved his more sober admittance that it never happened. The girls might want to try googling for that story, in case the've forgotten running Doherty's apology to Geldof as an exclusive just a few months ago:

"Hello it's, errr, Pete Doherty here and I'm a little bit concerned about a story that's been going about saying one of Bob Geldof's kids is harassing me.

"I've been trying to ehhh, get hold of his number myself, but I've had a bit of, errr, trouble.

"So could you put in your paper Pete Doherty would like to apologise to Bob and his daughters."

Perhaps the 3AM Girls don't read their own column, either?

music 3am peaches geldof pete doherty