JACKSON TOUCHED ME... NO, REALLY

Obviously, if his allegations against Michael Jackson are true, the poor chap who's trying to bring a civil action against Jacko has had a terrible time. But, just as the police couldn't quite see his story standing up in a criminal case, the details are just a little too perfect to accept.

Apparently, Jackson abused the child from the age of two up until his fourteenth birthday. At the same time, the complainant was coming up with ideas for songs and tunes which Jackson was stealing. And then, to top it all, Jackson made the boy have cosmetic surgery to make them look alike. It's only short of him being forced to share his bed with a monkey and record a duet with Paul McCartney to actually contain elements of Everything The World Knows About Michael Jackson. We're not sure what the motivation would have been for trying to force the kid's face to resemble Michael's own botch-up - perhaps he was hoping that if he made the boy look as repulsive as that, he might lose the predatory impulse.

Nobody wants to prejudge a case, but... shall we just set the doves free now?

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