OH, TANGLED WEB

When everyone was still trussed up in the house, it was fairly easy to keep tabs on what was happening to the Big Brother experimental victims. Now, though, we're starting to get a mite puzzled.

The People report Preston's girlfriend Camille firmly declaring that he'd never be interested in Chantelle anyway:

"He wouldn't normally look twice at someone like her - he doesn't usually go for blonde slappers. Chantelle's not stupid though - she was playing the game and she lured him in.

"I knew he didn't like her, it was all her. And it was edited to make it look like more than it was.

Aha. However, it's doubtful that the People are in a position to judge - they describe Preston as "a boy-band hunk", rather than a sparrow-chested ska revivalist. And, indeed, it seems both the People and Camille are being a little over-optimistic, as the Sunday Mirror has an interview with Preston in which he declares his love for Chantelle. Maybe she's not really blonde or something?:

"I'm sorry but I told a lie...I love Chantelle."

He went on: "I love Camille and I want to do right by her. But now I also love Chantelle, and she's going to be in my life. It's messy, but the truth is I love them both."

Clearly, Preston is hoping his newfound celeb status will allow him to persuade both women to enter into a Jean Paul-Sartre sort of solution; we wish him luck. To his face, obviously; behind his back we snicker "deluded fool."

Equally deluded is George Galloway, busily blaming everyone else for the way he ended up appearing on screen. It was all Channel 4's fault, you see; they told him he was going to be given free space to put forward his views, and then they turned out to be fibbing. Presumably in the same way that Galloway claims he didn't really mean it when he was busy saluting Saddam's indefatigability.

At least Pete Burns showed some sense: Deciding that enough had been said inside the house, he skipped the press conference. He might pull people through hot coals, but he doesn't believe in raking them over once they've cooled.

music big brother pete burns chantelle preston ordinary boys george galloway