Tuesday, February 14, 2006

MADONNA GIVES THEOLOGY 101

What, besides the delightful flightyness of the faux-religion, led Madonna to abandon Catholicism for the cult-version of Kabbalah?:

"There's nothing consoling about being a Catholic. They're all just laws and prohibitions."

Unlike, of course, Madonna's beloved Kabbalah - which, erm, doesn't even let you translate its rule book into another language. Even the Vatican has started to try and talk to people in words they can understand.

Mind you, we do wonder if Madonna hasn't got around to learning the language she needs to get to some of Kabbalah's rules. Like the one about how a woman removing her clothes for anyone bar her husband is opposite to the 'ideal form'. Presumably, though, in the original there's a Hebrew noun which can be translated as either "husband" or "coffee table wank book."


6 comments:

Eyetie said...

Catholism doesn't have any "cult-versions". If Catholics want to join a religion where the establishment is dodgier than a late-night kebab with extra chiller sauce and the ministers are kinkier than a bag of chicken feathers. Talking of which...

"Even the Vatican has started to try and talk to people in words they can understand."
Yes. Stuff like "Well wicked, aren't Boyzone great? Now put that Playstation down and step into my office." Apparently.

Anonymous said...

Catholicism does have some unorthodox sects, mostly self-flagellating ultra-traditionalists and "charismatics" who speak in tongues. What the Catholic church so far lacks is celebrity centres.

Anonymous said...

You're joking, right? Pretty much every piece of Catholic land (including the Vat) was donated by some Lord or other who wanted to smooth his way in the next life by donating what he wouldn't need in this life. Kabbalah and Scientology have innovated, true, but only by asking for money/land from the living.

cheesemeister said...

People really have the wrong idea about Kabbalah. There may be some sects that are espousing something prohibitive, but in actuality, Kabbalah is NOT a religion at all! It is simply a guide to the workings of the universe put in terms that people can understand. It has helped me to see that all religions should be able to coexist peacefully. Before putting down Kabbalah as a whole, please do some research. It is NOT a cult. It does NOT claim to be the path to salvation. There is no particular way in which you are supposed to live your life, except being peaceful. If some people are using it as such, they are the ones who are misguided. Kabbalah does NOT discriminate against other religions because all paths are embraced. I am very grateful for having discovered this benevolent mystical philosophy.
In the past, certain mystical sects stated that only the highest adepts were to know the secrets of the Universe. I believe that this is where the misguided tendencies of certain teachers may still be in play today.
A good place to learn the truth about Kabbalah is to read the book "The Mystical Kabbalah" by the late Dion Fortune. Please learn before labeling something as a "cult."
Other than this bone of contention, may I say that I very much enjoy your Blog.
Peace,
Cie

simon h b said...

cheese...

I fully take on what you're saying, and I do try (not always successfully, I admit) to make it clear that when I'm talking about Kabbalah, I'm referring specifically to the organisation that uses Kabbalah as a basis for selling water and string - the one that Madonna supports - and not the whole of the spiritual movement with which it shares a name, and which certainly *is* a cult - encouraging cash donations, group gatherings, breaking off contact with non-members, for example. It's unfortunate they've hijacked the name.

damian k said...

They obviously think there's something wrong with Kabbalah where I work - I can't even see the website, and get the message 'The Websense category "Non-Traditional Religions and Occult and Folklore" has been blocked'

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