SHE SWALLOWED THE SPIDER TO CATCH THE FLY...

We're certainly not going to suggest that Dick Cheney used his apparently illegal weapon to shoot a seventy-eight year old man in a bid to distract attention from the report into how rubbish the Federal Response was to Hurricane Katrina; and, had that been the original distraction plan, we're sure the sudden interest in Britney Spears' bad driving wasn't intended to try and drag attention away from the distraction.

Indeed, Norman Mineta - apparently US transportation secretary - felt he had no choice but to bring the bad driving back to the top of the news agenda, to warn the millions of other Americans that the cops will take it seriously if they, too, try drive with their babies on their laps while pursued by photographers from People and OK:

."No matter who you are, there's absolutely no excuse for this display--not instinct, not fear, not even reckless paparazzi," Mineta said, according to the text of his speech found on the Transportation Department's Website. "It's irresponsible to compromise the safety of a child for the sake of the moment."

"So, I'm asking everyone today to put the safety of all of our children first," Mineta said. "Put your children in booster seats, buckle them up, buckle yourself up and obey driving laws."

Even if you're being chased by reckless paparazzi. To drive with a kid on your lap is a dangerous as, ooh, dropping depleted uranium into residential areas, or waving a gun about when you haven't got a clue if you're shooting at a small, flightless bird or an old man.

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