BEZ AND LES

As if the upheaval of a World Cup isn't bad enough, and as if the imminent Embrace official hymnal hasn't tried our patience already, Bez is adding to the mix with his first ever solo single in honour of the event.

For the benefit of our American readers, the World Cup is an opportunity once every four years for young England players to be strapped in a chair and force fed alcohol, except for those with gambling debts who can simply look forward to being strapped in a chair and forced.

Here is a glimpse at Bez's tune, One Dream:

One ball/
One team/
Three Lions/
One dream

At least, to be fair, he's twigged that England would need only one team turning up to stand a chance of getting beyond the second round.

And, before we can take comfort in the thought that "at least there's no bloody Fat Les this year," Alex James and Keith Allen are thinking of reviving the half-joke. With alleged pub-fighter Ian McCulloch on board, warns James:

"Ian McCulloch's been singing 'Come on, come on, you fucking England' to the Bryan Ferry song 'Let's Stick Together'. You take the backing track from that, stick McCulloch singing 'Come on, come on, you fucking England!' and Embrace can fucking suck my cock."

If Danny McNamara giving head to James would make it stop, perhaps somebody could try and persuade him it would be in all our best interests to do so? Come on, Danny, it's not an unpleasant way to spend an evening and it could keep Keith Allen out a recording studio.

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