BLAME ELTON

George Michael has noticed he's been getting a lot of negative press at the moment - but at least he knows exactly why. No, it's nothing to do with the falling asleep at busy intersections, or smashing parked cars and driving off and hiding.

Oh, no.

It's because of Elton John.

Reigniting the feud with his former pal, he said: “Every artist has a soap opera and people decide where they are in it. The trajectory of my particular soap opera launched from the statement Elton made 18 months ago, when I hadn’t seen him in a year.

“Elton said he thought I was miserable for some reason and I’ve been trying to prove I’m not ever since.”

Michael tells this to Parkinson, a chat show environment so soft and forgiving Charlie Chalk could use it as a play area.

The Hyde Park business? You know, that was down to Tony Bennett:

“I recorded with Tony Bennett the same night. It was my mother’s memorial a day later, so I hadn’t slept well.”

Parkinson, being a trained journalist, somehow forgets to gurgle with dismissive laughter and ask "if you were a little bit tired and just needed a nap, why did you stop your car in the busiest part of London? Why didn't you park properly? How come you'd done something similar a few weeks previously? Had you also been recording with Tony Bennett then?"

It was Tony Bennett, it was Elton John... if Michael ever murders someone, Tom Jones better make sure he's got a watertight alibi.

music elton john tony bennett george michael