BRITS GOING LIVE

Because this year's event was such a stagnant, unwatched affair, they're planning a massive overhaul for the 2007 Brits.

Firstly, they're going live again, which makes sense - there's bugger all point in showing an awards ceremony where everyone read the list of winners online a day before.

Secondly, in a bid to try and shake the impression that the prizes are all about portly middle-aged men who have made a pile of cash and lost their creative spark, they're thinking of inviting the Sex Pistols to play. With a lure of a lifetime achievement award - although, clearly, a band who turns up to pick up such a prize is hardly going to have any degree of anarchy left in them.

We love the idea that in some gentlemen's club somewhere, they were kicking the idea of how to inject some spark into the Brits and the only people they could think of were a band who said "nipples" once on a local TV show and promptly went off to become estate agents.

Still, if the Sex Pistols say no, there's always Shakin' Stevens - he fought Richard Madeley on the telly once. He could bring a dangerous element.

The Sun's Victoria Newton is thrilled they're going live, though:

The Brits were always about bands behaving badly. Some of the most outrageous moments include JARVIS COCKER waggling his bum in protest as MICHAEL JACKSON performed in 1996.

My favourite was in 1998 when DANBERT NOBACON of CHUMBAWUMBA chucked a bucket of icy water over Deputy PM JOHN PRESCOTT.

The insider added: “Going back to screening the show on the night might encourage some bad behaviour.

“Viewers say they want it live.”

Only thing is, Victoria, both the Jarvo and Chumba incidents happened after they'd started taping the show and sticking it on air the next day. Oh, and the TV versions didn't show either event, either.

She also has her doubts about the Pistols plan:

I can’t see Johnny accepting a gong from the music establishment.

In February the band refused to attend their induction to the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame.

Victoria, honey, you realise the Pistols accepted their induction and just didn't turn up to the ceremony - and they didn't turn up to the ceremony not because they are anarchists who hate being told how very, very important their Woolworths Punk was, but because they were too tight to pay for a ticket? Lydon would probably turn up at a UKIP bake sale if the payday was right.

music brits sex pistols john lydon jarvis cocker punk