JESSICA SIMPSON GOES A BIT PHIL COLLINS

When life hands you lemons, you pass them to the people who manage your career, and ask them to see if they could pop out and get some better lemonade. Jessica Simpson is making a break-up album following the end of her relationship with... you know, thingy.

That should be interesting:

My people
called your people
and said 'the ratings bombed'
let's call the whole thing off

You wanted
to hold on longer
see if MTV picked up
another series, maybe two

but we just couldn't pretend any longer...

Oh, we're being cruel, of course - the pain she feels is every bit as real as the marriage ever was:

"I think that with my music, you can't help but tell people a story about your life.

"I believe every artist, that's their artistry - it comes out of them naturally through lyrics, through music.

"So with this next record you will hear a lot of things I've been going through.

"And if it can offer any inspiration to anybody else going through the same situation, so be it. That's why I'm here."

That might sound stupid, but these days simply hundreds of people wake up every year to discover their pointless reality TV show has been cancelled, and so this will provide real comfort for them. Paul Dannan's already been on Amazon seeing if he can pre-order.

music nick lachey jessica simpson divorce