HOW CLOSE DID WE COME TO QUEEN NATASHA

Who can say if it was fuelled by Bacardi Breezers or not, but photos circulated which might have made it look like Natasha 'and what do you do now, exactly' Hamilton tried to jump the bones of the heir to the throne.

William, not Charles. Although since she got nowhere with Wills, maybe she'll have a crack at Chaz.

Natasha maintains "I nevvvahhh:

“It looks like I’m going in for the snog. But I really was not.

“It’s all rather unfortunate. You’ve got to laugh it off.

“But I don’t think his girlfriend Kate Middleton will believe it so easily!

My phone’s been ringing all day with people saying I’ve been caught with William. He’s probably had some explaining to do too.”

So, where was Natasha "caught" with William?

Erm, in the line-up after the Princes Trust gig.

“I was doing the Royal line-up.

“He said hello and kissed me on the cheek.

“The camera has picked up the moment he leant in and we moved towards each other. The angle it’s taken from makes it look like I’m trying to snog his face off.

“But I don’t understand how my tongue came to be in the shot.

“It is so embarrassing. It’s blown my chance of a Damehood I suppose!”

Yes, because that had been the direction your life was moving towards up until that point. Still, if Kerry Katona turns down the ambassadorship to Norway, you're still in with a shout for that.

Meanwhile, and on the same basis, here's an exclusive photo of The Queen getting it on with Catherine Tate.

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