NOT EVEN A SPEARS CARRIER

Nobody really thinks Britney Spears has much of a future as an actress - a view that could only be strenghtened in those who saw Crossroads. But you know who really thinks she stinks?

Her drama coach:

"Britney is an untalented, self-focused wannabe.

"I can imagine her ruining a televised drama by suddenly staring straight into camera and either winking, shaking her boobs or blowing a bubble of gum. But not all at the same time that would be asking far too much of her."

So, slightly worse than Madonna, but better than Paris Hilton, then.

But is the likelihood to waggle her tits actually a handicap with the roles she's likely to be looking for? (Surely, if you cast Britney, it'd be for her way with a push-up bra anyway?) She's not going to be looking for that Lady Macbeth opening:

Of Shakespeare she said: "I know who he is, know he's dead and I don't want any knights-in-armour stuff." And when asked to read from a Harold Pinter play the singer held up a hand to shut her drama coach up, before scoffing: "Whoever Pinto is, or was."

The coach - who was, it should be pointed out, canned after a couple of lessons - asked not to be named, and it seems that Spears has worked her way through so many drama teachers it'd be unlikely even she would be able to work out which one it is who's being so cruel. As cruel as to suggest Britney is just like everyone else:

"Britney's no better or worse than any newcomer to acting.

"The big difference is, she's into shortcuts. She kept telling me to skip elements of the course she believed weren't necessary.

"It was clear she really hadn't understood the concept of any of them. She came across as a spoilt child in the body of a young woman, who's not used to being told no."

Ah... but maybe she was acting the role of a spoilt child in... no, okay, that's unlikely...

music film britney spears