PRESTON KNOWS WHAT TO SAY

Apart from sometimes blurting out "let's get married" to the wrong person, Preston's ability to say the right thing must make him a delight to media manage.

Take, for example, his views on T in the Park compared with Glastonbury:

"T In The Park is the most incredible festival. We've already played it twice and those were two of the best gigs we've ever done.

"I just think that everyone who goes there will be reclining on an analyst's couch within a couple of years because of the carnage that goes on.

"But I'm not a fan of Glastonbury - and I know that's going to be controversial.

"There are just too many friendship bracelets and jester's hats.

"You get people who are high on pills forcing friendship bracelets on you and you're like: 'Listen. I don't want to be your friend. Please kindly fuck off and die.'

"The experience of a music festival should be watching a load of bands with your mates.

"Not spraying your hair purple for the day and wearing an 'I'm bonkers' T-shirt."

Yes, god forbid that you should do something other than just stare mutely at a bunch of indie-kids in the same way you could if you stayed at home. What a terrifying, terrifying prospect that you might actually wind up speaking to some people you don't already know.

Of course there are too many jugglers at Glastonbury - how much better to be at an event designed to sell beer. (Although having said that, has Preston been to Glastonbury recently?)

How lucky, though, that Preston loves T in the Park so much and just happens to be playing it this year. Good boy.

Maybe we're being too harsh on the lad - after all, what does being trapped in a place with a bunch of people pretending to like you shouting and showing off their "I'm Bonkers" t-shirt got to do with music? Although it's a pity he didn't ask himself that before he went on Big Brother.

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