ROBBIE WILLIAMS IS NOT APPEARING ON THE TELEVISION

Personally, we couldn't care less either way, but we do raise a curious eyebrow on discovering that Robbie Williams has instructed the ITV team filming the Beckhams "gorge yourself for the starving" party that they can't film him:

An insider tells us: "Everyone involved has been so positive until now. There was disbelief when word came from Robbie's aides. No one can understand why he's being such a misery-guts about the whole thing.

"James Brown's an international superstar, far more famous than Robbie, and he's happy to be filmed, so what's Robbie's problem?"

I'm not a doctor, but I believe the medical term is "he's stuck so far up his own arse he only sees the sun when he yawns."

It also turns out that Williams insists on playing Angels now, whether people want him to or not:

He said: "You don't get Robbie without Angels. I was supposed to be doing three songs, but they've got me playing for an hour now.

"I don't usually do things like this party, but I did get a letter from a young girl called Victoria.

"She said she had a husband called David who's very stressed at the moment because he had some important work coming up over the summer. I just thought: 'Why not? He could probably do with a bit of live Angels in his life.'"

Good god, we knew things were grim for the Beckhams, but not that grim. Fancy being patronised by Williams.

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