Thursday, May 25, 2006


Okay, we would.

Journey South, you'll need reminding, was one of the X-Factor turnips from the last season, currently enjoying the last oozings of their temporary fame. Now, it's easy to suppose that anyone who's prepared to be told what to do by the likes of Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh or Sharon Osbourne's Playdoh face must have a bit lacking in the synapse department, but sometimes, it's actually measureable.

Carl Pemberton came to a ford and - despite the stream it was crossing being hugely swollen by recent rains - decided to drive across. When water started to pour into his car, rather than thinking "oh, what a twonk I am, I've driven my car into a river and it turns out my vehicle isn't one of those of the movies which turns into a submarine", he ploughed on.

Because it's a ford, see, which obviously means normal rules of physics don't apply.

Obviously, the car eventually conked out. And:

He crawled out but was knocked over by strong currents and swept downstream.

Mr Pemberton, from nearby Coulby Newham, spent five minutes in the water before managing to drag himself out.

The star raised the alarm at a local riding centre before being taken to hospital in Middlesbrough, where he was told he had escaped with just cuts and bruises.

Great. So not only has dumped a car in a stream, he's also wasted NHS resources.

The good news, though, is he'll be ready to take up his summer season at Butlins.