MOSS EYES MONKEY

There's a pal telling all, so it must be the truth: only Alex Turner's mother stood between him and Kate Moss:

““She asked him if he wanted to meet up and he mumbled something about being busy with the band and he’d have to see.

“Then she followed it up with a few texts and he panicked and told his mum Penny.

“She is a straight-laced teacher and had already warned him about getting mixed up with drugs while in the band.

“There was no way she wanted her son involved with Kate after all her cocaine carry on.

“He was going out with someone else from school at the time so he ignored the texts.

“I think Kate got bored of asking in the end.”

All her cocaine carry-on? Are the Arctic Monkeys mates with the ghost of Sid James?

We're also trying to make sense of this - his mother is a "straight-laced teacher" and yet when her son asked if he should go out with Kate Moss, her response was 'ooh, she's had a cocaine carry-on' rather than 'actually, don't you already have a girlfriend?'

music kate moss arctic monkeys alex turner