RACHEL STEVENS TO REPLACE BEYONCE

Yes, it's an unlikely headline, but a website reckons that Rachel Stevens is being lined up for a key role in the next Pink Panther movie.

Yes, we know that asks you to suspend disbelief, and then suspend it further to a land where frogs wear tophats.

But Sony have agreed to let Steve Martin make two more Pink Panther films, and - presumably on the basis of her two seconds of screen time in the Deuce Bigelow sequel - Stevens is seriously in the running for a leading role.

It's almost like a day centre for the formerly famous, isn't it?

[Plug: You can now get Steve Martin when he was still funny on one DVD - Lonely Guy, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid and The Jerk. It is a rather low-budget DVD, as the "features" are listed as it being in English.]

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